


Crash Into You

by Dekka



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020) RPF, Lone Star (TV 2010)
Genre: Addiction recovery, Alex visits the station, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:14:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29712183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dekka/pseuds/Dekka
Summary: “Whatever it took to get to you,” Tk says between gasping lungfuls of air, “I’d do it all over a thousand times.”The hand that finds his chest through their nest of ruined sheets comes down hard, equally as exhausted. “I’d find you sooner,” Carlos promises, blinking back at him with eyes wide with adoration.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Judd Ryder & TK Strand, Marjan Marwani & TK Strand, Mateo Chavez & TK Strand, Owen Strand & TK Strand, TK Strand & Paul Strickland
Comments: 7
Kudos: 257





	Crash Into You

The thing about good days is, they never really stay that way. Even with the sun shining down, birds chirping, and children running through the streets, there’s always a dark underbelly to the world that’s waiting for the perfect moment to show its face. 

Today’s underbelly comes after a morning that wouldn’t be misplaced under the dictionary description of ‘ideal.’ 

Tk woke up early to Carlos’ arms around him, a warm breakfast ready in the other room, and just enough time for a happy ending for him and his boyfriend while they both got ready for their shifts. 

From there, Tk really thought there was no way things could get any better, but then their first call came in—for a young boy who had drown—and medical had taken care of everything before FD had even arrived on scene and unpacked their gear. 

Since then, the alarm has been blissfully silent. It’s a perfect day, really. Right up until it isn't. 

“Is Tk around?” The echo of the conversation happening by the garage doors is just loud enough to make it to the kitchen where Tk is propped up on the counter, downing the donuts Paul brought in earlier. 

Marjan turns to him, an eye brow raised, as Tk hears Mateo’s all too enthusiastic answer. “Yeah, he’s here! I can go grab him for you.” 

“Who do you think it is?” Tk manages, around a mouthful of sugary dough. 

Already disinterested, Marjan just shrugs. “Shouldn’t we ask you that?” She goes back to her book, but it’s Judd that gives a real answer as his hands mess with the coffee maker. “It was some guy, kinda tall, seemed pretty ‘city’ to me.” 

“City?” Tk asks.

“Yeah, ‘City.’ Like you, pretty boy,” Judd teases, throwing a napkin at him. “You’ve got powdered sugar everywhere, kid,” he explains, motioning to his own front with a smile that Tk is willing to interpret as being unbearably fond instead of being in mock disbelief. 

“I was hungry, okay?” Tk defends, whining. He tries to dab at the mess he’s made of his black uniform, but the powdered sugar just smudges. 

“Too bad most of it missed your mouth,” Marjan quips. 

Tk’s already throwing her an over-exaggerated fake, “ _Ha Ha Ha, very funny,_ ” when Mateo rounds the corner with Paul. “There’s a guy here-”

“I know, I know,” Tk defends, desperately trying to wipe away the spreading mess on his front. “Where did you get these things, Paul? They’re like sugar bombs.” 

Paul’s response is a sickeningly sweet smile. “Funny how no one else had that issue, Teeks.” 

“ _Teeks_!” Maeto roars, “I love it. Can we call him that from now on?” 

“No, Probie,” Tk says, firm, even as Marjan nods excitedly at Mateo in contradiction. 

“Is this any better?” He asks, then, showing off the front of his shirt to his crew. 

The silent grimaces of his teammates are the only answers he needs. Throwing down his napkin, he acknowledges that some things just cant be saved. “I’ll change later,” he grumbles. 

He’s just ready to leave the kitchen to greet his surprise visitor when a familiar face—and even more surprising visitor— rounds the corner. 

“Carlos!” Tk’s shocked more than anything, but his feet move before his brain can even catch up, bringing him to his boyfriend. “I thought you had a long shift?” 

The hug he’s pulled into nearly brings him off his feet. “I decided to take lunch away from the office,” Carlos says with a soft shrug when they manage to pull themselves apart. He’s trying to play it cool, but Tk can see how pleased he is with their domesticity by the pinks of his cheeks. 

“Well, _Babe,_ ” Tk says the endearment overly drawn out just to watch his boyfriend’s blush darken. “Paul brought some really good donuts, if you’re hungry.” 

“Is that what happened here?” Carlos asks innocently, looking down at Tk’s front. If his face weren’t so adorably sympathetic, Tk would give him shit for it. 

“Best be careful, ‘Los, that there’s a touchy subject,” Judd chimes in. 

Tk’s ready to fire back at him when Mateo’s face shifts to a frown at something new behind him, effectively killing the retort from Tk’s mouth. 

“Hey, man, I said to wait up front,” Probie starts, clearly talking to the visitor Tk kept waiting. Before he even turns, Tk waves Mateo off, knowing if the visitor is for him it must be someone he’s at least friendly with. 

Whatever greeting he was going to give dies spectacularly on his lips as he turns though.

“Tk.” The soft, breathlessly hopeful voice that echoes from the man in front of him is one he’s heard millions of times. 

“Alex-” Tk doesnt know what to say and doesnt even know if there is anything to say after the way they left things. 

Anxiously, he glances to Carlos, but Carlos looks just as confused as Tk feels. 

“One of the guys at your old station gave me this address and-” Alex rambles on, but Tk cant hear anything over the way his ears have started to ring. 

Last time he saw Alex was the night he proposed, the night he found a dealer, and the night he tried to kill himself. 

“Babe?” Carlos asks, the hand at his elbow shocking Tk away from the onslaught of memories. 

He has to push at his eyes, clear his throat, and try to stop the way his hands are shaking before he can finally manage to look back up at Alex. He can’t believe he’s here. “You- _Why did you come_?” The devastation in his voice isn't hard to miss, not as the chills wracking him make his voice quiver. 

He promised himself if he ever saw Alex again he’d be strong and face him head-on. But this, now, blindsided and alone and confused, he can barely form a coherent thought. 

He’s saved from asking again as Alex’s eyes shift to the team at Tk’s back. “Could we maybe talk somewhere more private?” 

“No.” The answer doesnt come from Tk or his team. It comes from the steps, where his Dad is taking them in rapid succession. No one misses the way their captain purposefully places himself between Tk and his visitor, practically signaling his intent to shield Tk from a threat.  
Like they were just waiting for the word, the team responds like they always do to bad situations. 

“How about you take a step back,” Carlos directs, hand to Alex’s chest. 

“That’s really not necessary,” Alex starts. Tk is ready to agree with him when Judd tugs on his arm, pulling him towards the back of the kitchen where their bunk hall is only a few steps away. 

“Dad-” Tk tries, but Owen’s glance back at his son is filled with so much rage Tk can barely muster the fight to argue. 

“Tk’s my boyfriend,” Alex says to the room, as if that’ll gain his favor, “You cant just keep him from me.” 

“Funny thing about that,” Carlos says, with a smile that’s too tight to be anything more than civil, “but Tk is actually _my_ boyfriend and I’m guessing you’re the—practically biblical—asshole from New York?” 

Whether its the officer’s uniform, his build, or his tone, Alex deflates. 

It’s what ultimately makes Tk push Judd’s corralling hands away. He’s been there, and felt that hopeless feeling that tears the strings away that were holding you up. No one deserves to feel like that. Not even Alex. 

“Guys, stop.” Tk pushes his way through worried stares and reaching hands and finally gets face to face with Alex. He’s imagined this confrontation a thousand times; what he’d say, what he’d do. None of it could’ve prepared him for the real deal. “Why did you come here?” 

It should be a simple answer. Instead, Alex reaches for his hand. “You almost died, Tk.” He doesnt deserve to look as concerned as he does. Not as Tk’s Father, who found him, who saved him, paces like a caged tiger behind him. It sparks a fire in Tk like he’s never felt before. 

“So what?” Tk asks, bluntly. He can practically feel his Dad freeze behind him at the callous way he speaks about his own suicide attempt. “Was that not what you wanted?” 

“Never, Tk,” Alex begs. He’s squeezing his hand so tight it hurts and yet all Tk can think is that this is the man who lied to him, who went to NA meetings with him, who played the perfect boyfriend while fucking another man in their bed. 

Tk doesnt want to make peace anymore. Screw every string he breaks, he wants revenge. 

“Dad,” Tk calls, all while keeping his eyes trained firmly on Alex. He can feel his lip wobbling as he tries to smile. It’s only to hide the way he feels like he’s falling apart from what he’s about to admit. 

“Alex was the one who gave me my first Oxy pill in high school when I was Sophomore.”

He can hear Alex stumbling, trying to refute it, but Tk pushes on, knowing if he even allowed himself a moment to breathe he wouldn’t be able to go on. “He said it would help me relax, that I would stop being an ‘ _uptight prude_.’” 

All Tk has to do is step back, forcing Alex’s hands from his, and his Dad is there, fist connecting solidly with Alex’s jaw. 

It’s so sickeningly satisfying to watch someone who hurt you get a fraction back of what they deserve. 

“I think I figured something out,” Tk says, kneeling next to Alex, who cant do much but grip his jaw as he folds into himself in agony. “I think you spent the last six years of our relationship with me just trying to right that one wrong from back in high school. You didn’t know I’d get addicted. You couldn’t have and I cant blame you for that. But it was sick to string me along that whole time. That was your real mistake. And I don’t regret this-” he motions to his team at his back and his Dad who’s still shaking out his hand. “Any of this.” 

Tk looks back at his new family and his boyfriend, and knows he wouldn’t change any minute of his past that lead him here.

“If it wasn’t already obvious,” he says, looking back to Alex without an once of pity, “I don’t want you to contact me ever again.” 

Marjan practically whoops as Tk forces his legs up, trying to steel himself until he can at least be ushered by Judd back to their bunks. 

By some miracle he makes it there, Judd’s hand under his arm the only thing keeping him going. 

When he’s finally released in the silence of their sleeping quarters, he cant force his shaking legs to hold him any longer. He collapses in a heap to his bed, his arms wrapped around his middle for some shred of comfort. He’s not surprised when Carlos is suddenly there, kneeling in front of him. 

“Babe,” Carlos says, gripping Tk’s face in his hands, “That was…” he trails off in disbelief, shaking his head. There’s no words.

“Amazing,” Mateo fills in. “You fucked him _up_.” 

“And Cap?” Marjan looks as surprised as Tk’s ever seen her. “Who knew he had it in him?” 

“I did,” Paul says, plopping himself down next to Tk. “I’ve never seen him come down those steps like that, not even for the alarm.” 

Tk knows what they’re doing and it’s working, slowly taking his mind off the adrenaline that’s rocking his body to its core. “Thanks guys, for having my back.” 

“Tk?” His Dad comes into the room like he’s expecting to barge into a disaster zone. Tk doesnt blame him. especially when his last meeting with Alex ended with him overdosing. 

“I’m fine, Dad,” Tk promises, already on the defensive. But like they all knew it would, it doesnt appease their captain. 

“We can get a restraining order, we can-” Tk doesnt want to even begin to entertain that thought. 

“ _Dad_.” His tone stops Owen in his tracks. “Thank you,” Tk says seriously. The way his father collapses into him, it feels more like he’s holding him together than the other way around. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” The words mumbled into Tk’s shoulder almost don’t make it to his ears over the sound of his breathing hitching with anxiety. 

“Im sure.” It’s maybe not one-hundred percent true, but it’s true enough that when his Dad pulls away and looks at him, what he sees makes him finally smile through his watering eyes. “I’m proud of you, Son.” 

The blush that Tk feels light his face is as embarrassing as it is involuntary. 

“Maybe we should get you home?” Carlos’ question isn't much of a question. Tk feels like he’s still in shock and knows he’d be useless on even the most basic call. 

“That’s a good idea,” Judd says and eyes Tk pointedly, as if expecting him to try to argue. 

“No protest today,” Tk promises. It’s all the consent Carlos needs to wrap an arm around him and tug him to his feet. 

“I can walk on my own, you know,” Tk tells him. They both pretend not to feel the way his steps wavier. 

“I know, Tk.” Carlos’ answering smile is sad. “But you don’t have to.” 

***

Later that night, curled up in a bed he’s started to consider his own, Tk finally realizes the magnitude of everything that happened at the station. It’s like the shock wore off little by little until it disappeared all at once, leaving him trembling cold in a hoodie thats more his than it is Carlos’. 

“Why do you think he really came down to Texas?” The question has been floating through his mind since Carlos and him first left the station and he finally had a minute to think. 

They’ve both been quiet up to this point, only orbiting around each other while lost in their own minds as they worked through processing the afternoon. 

“I think maybe he felt guilty and wanted the assurance that you were okay now.” Carlos’ words are punctuated with a kiss to his forehead. “You are okay, right? Because you can tell me, if you’re not.” 

Tk buries himself impossibly closer into Carlos’ chest and actually gives himself a minute to consider it before he answers. “I’m okay now,” he decides. 

He can feel the way Carlos’ chest unclenches, finally relaxing back into the bed they’ve cocooned themselves in. 

“I thought I loved him, once.” The words hang there, heavy. It feels like that silence blankets them for hours rather than the minute it does. 

“You were a sophomore and he took you under his wing,” Carlos finally says. He likes to lay out the facts for Tk to help him see straight. It’s something he started doing after Tk admitted to how overwhelmed he gets, struggling with his addiction and life. “He practically drugged you into sex and a relationship, and he was older and should’ve known better.” 

“Maybe he did know better.” Tk thinks he must’ve. Every party, every pill, it all ended one way: with him in his boyfriend’s arms, hungover in his bed. 

“Maybe,” Carlos agrees, terribly gentle. They’ll never know now, but Tk thinks he might just okay with that. 

This time, when the silence stretches on, it’s to their soft, lulling breathes, rather than the night’s anxieties eating at them. 

“Try to sleep,” Carlos whispers to him eventually. The sun is still making its way down even though the room has long since been hovered in a dim night’s glow. Despite everything, there’s a certain peace that comes from the four walls that surround them, covered in their things, their clothes, their memories. 

It reinvigorates something in Tk, something he cant quite place as well as he wishes he could. While searching for an explanation of the feeling, the truth—the only truth that matters—hits him dead on. 

“Tk?” Carlos must’ve been able to feel the way his breath was swooped out of his chest. 

Though it hurts, he has to pull himself away to see Carlos’ face as he admits for the first time, “I love you.” It’s a breathless declaration, a dawning of their own. 

The way Carlos’ face breaks, allowing pure joy in for the first time since they left the station, is something Tk hopes he gets to see everyday for the rest of his life. 

“Say something,” he teases, kicking at Carlos’ shins, even though his boyfriend’s face is saying more than enough. 

“I,” Carlos starts. His playful smile is bitten shut, as if he’s trying to contain himself. “Love.” The kiss he pulls Tk into is just a peck, even as he holds Tk in place, as close as they can be without folding into one another. “You.” His final word leaves Tk floating, only held down to earth by the lips that pepper kisses along his neck and the hands that clench at his skin as if trying to tear him apart with attention. 

He gets gloriously ravished until he has to beg for an interlude, barely able to breathe with the way Carlos has filled his senses.

“Whatever it took to get to you,” Tk says between gasping lungfuls of air, “I’d do it all over a thousand times.” 

The hand that finds his chest through their nest of ruined sheets comes down hard, equally as exhausted. “I’d find you sooner,” Carlos promises, blinking back at him with eyes wide with adoration. “If we had to do it all again.” 

It’s the difference between lust and love, fear and hope, and death and life, with Carlos. He’s a light where there wasn’t one, before. One Tk knows with all his heart that he’ll keep lit forever. 

“Carlos?” Tk waits until those eyes open back up from where they’d slipped shut in bliss. “I love you.” It’s no declaration this time, only a fact that’s overwhelming in all the right ways.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments feed the writer :) Let me know what you thought of the fic/what kind of writing you'd like to see in the future!
> 
> Also I'm new to this fandom so hit me up on Twitter if you'd like @elizabaybay if you need someone to geek out over Tarlos with :)


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